Maybe soccer alone doesn’t do it for you. Basketball too boring? Perhaps rugby and water polo aren’t mainstream enough for your liking. Gosh, couldn’t someone just get it over with and combine all these disciplines into one super sport that requires little more than a circular grass field, some specially designed nets, and a whole lot of insanity?

Enter Kronum, which was started roughly a year ago by a group of intrepid Philadelphians obviously dissatisfied with existing sports. Like any new activity, the gameplay can be a little rough to grasp, but if this sport could ever make it to a larger level, the opportunity for widespread popularity most certainly exists, especially on college campuses and in beer-league hotspots.

As it exists now, the sport takes place within a grass circle that is 70 yards in diameter. The teams are 10 on 10, and there are four nets, one in each quadrant. Each team has two goals to defend, and the match has three 20-minute periods.

The field is divided into four primary zones, which determine both which part of your body can touch the ball and how many points you get for scoring. Extending outward from each goal, these are the goal zone, wedge zone, flex zone and cross zone. You can’t touch the ball with your hands when you’re in the wedge zone, but all parts of your body are legal in all the other zones.

No matter where you are, you can only take two steps with the game ball before you have to dribble. And much like pickup basketball, the ball must be brought back to the second ring after each score or turnover.

Scoring is based not only on what zone your feet last touched when you scored but also which part of the goal you score in. There’s a “crown” adorning the top of each goalmouth, with five rings called — you guessed it — crown rings. Much like in quidditch, players can score by throwing the ball into one of the rings, and you get more points, based on how far out you were when you threw the ball. (Unlike in quidditch, you can also kick the ball in for a score.)

If you’re in the goal zone and kick the ball into the “chamber” (the Kronum term for the goalmouth), that’s one point. Dunk the ball in and you get two points. From the wedge zone, a score into the chamber is worth two points. Kick or head the ball into one of the crown rings and your team gets four points. From the flex zone, a chamber score is worth three points, while crown rings are six points. (Evidently, these are the most common types of scores found in competitive Kronum.) Finally, if you’re out in the nether regions of the cross zone, a chamber score nabs you four points while a crown ring score gets a whopping eight points — otherwise known as a “kronum.”

Obviously, the custom-designed chambers with the crown rings will provide the biggest obstacle to forming your own Kronum league, but that’s not stepping the Kronum League brain trust from trying to form leagues anywhere they’ll have them. And it does sound incredibly fun to play, so let us know if anyone’s starting up a San Francisco Kronum league. I mean, it’s not any weirder than Segway polo.

[h/t Deadspin, Deuce of Davenport]